In the spirit of radical transparency, I am going to admit here that I have watched nary an episode of The Morning Show since I binged the first two seasons in 2021. This isn’t because the show is bad, or even because I personally don’t like it; there’s just too much TV, guys! I can’t stay current on everything Belly Conklin, Carrie Bradshaw, and every Netflix rom-com protagonist in existence is up to, plus pay for an Apple TV+ subscription!
With that said, the series’ fourth season provided the perfect opportunity for me to get back into the swing of things around the UBN offices. So, without further ado, here’s (literally) every thought I had about Season 4, Episode 1 of The Morning Show:
- Wow, remember when everyone was talking about their Roman Empire?
- This show is so The Newsroom-coded for its ability to dredge up cultural phenomena that feel centuries old but really took place less than a year ago.
- Sorry, this line is technically courtesy of a flashback from last season, but “You silenced a journalist!” is what I should start yelling at my boyfriend when he asks me to turn down the Enya I’m blasting in the living room while he’s trying to sleep.
- Hey, it’s the Paris 2024 Summer Games! I remember those!
- Jennifer Aniston speaks French? Colorez-moi impressed!
- There’s my problematic princess Stella!
- Unfortunately, she’s all-in on generative AI.
- “We are done with layoffs and buyouts,” said every media CEO ever, immediately before initiating more layoffs and buyouts.
- “The future sucks.” Well, yes!
- Oh, good, a Joe Rogan podcast-bro knockoff. This won’t make the real Rogan turn scarlet at all.
- LOL, remember when Biden was president?
- Not to get all misty-eyed over his presidency, but…simpler times, sort of.
- Okay, I am not ready for any LA-wildfire plotlines, even if they’re not about the most recent and particularly devastating ones.
- Oh yeah, Chip!
- Sorry, but…is Alex who this Iranian fencer and her dad should be talking to about potentially defecting?
- I mean, what do I know? Maybe that’s how it’s done.
- Oh no, car crash!
- I miss when this show was all about lezzing out.
- It’s been a year, and I’m still upset about people swimming in the Seine.
- Greta Lee’s tight, slicked-back bun on this show is so vastly important to me.
- Criterion Closet name-check!
- “We are making Chinatown for the post-truth era.” Hoo, boy.
- If you have to scream into an empty trailer that your movie is relevant…is it, really?
- Have you thought about Greta Lee’s bisexual-catnip Calvin Klein campaign today? No? Well, now you have.
- I really do feel weirdly safe when I hear Jennifer Aniston’s voice, even when she’s stressed out about the impending end of the world or whatever these news girlies are nattering on about.
- Guess what, babes: it’s now 2025, and the world didn’t end! Unfortunately!
- Do not say “January 6th” to me.
- Beyoncé needle drop!
- Hey, Reese!
- Time to watch The Arrest Video once again.
- And then Bowen Yang’s lip-sync version.
- Okay, all caught up.
- Stella’s a better woman than me, because I would take a free martini and slice of cake from literally any man at any bar, anytime.
- Ooh, fun, bird-poisoning storyline 🙁
- Oop, and human poisoning as well!
- Okay, fake news on Erewhon juice being $30! It’s $20! A regular steal!
- Listen, I would know.
- God, I’m so glad I’m not in law school.
- No shade to my best friend, who is in law school.
- I just had to google the word “plaintiff,” so I’m not sure I could hack it alongside her, TBH.
- This law-school-professor’s-office scene has gone on longer than I’ve been alive, somehow.
- Okay, we love Bradley borrowing Stella’s tight bun!
- Damn, Will Arnett looking kind of nice with it. It’s not every man who can pull off graying stubble!
- “Fuck off, New York.” Cosigned from this Angeleno transplant!
- Sorry, I’m still bitter about how much I spent on one meal in Brooklyn this summer.
- It wasn’t even that good a meal!
- Okay, I’m done.
- Wow, can’t wait for the Bradley era of TMS!
