Today, I’m back in on the new season of All’s Fair, a show that’s primarily notable for Sarah Paulson’s genuinely evil one-liners and Kim Kardashian…acting! Below, find (quite literally) every thought I had about the Season 2 return of All’s Fair:
- I hardcore fell off recapping this show mid-last season, so I actually have no idea what’s happening.
- There’s our Kim!
- In a jaunty leather chapeau, natch.
- I want one of those illuminated purse-storage walls, whether it’s realistic for my studio apartment or not.
- The best thing about being Kim Kardashian (or whoever she’s playing) must be the unlimited access to expensive silk pajamas and status candles.
- Ahhh, who’s behind her?
- Oh, it’s just a glass house.
- Speaking of hats…NIECY NASH!
- In a purple fedora!
- Now I’m thinking about Haley Stevens’s big hat and I’m frowning.
- YAY, Sarah Paulson.
- It’s not a Ryan Murphy joint if two legendary actresses over 40 aren’t glaring at each other through the dim light of a fish tank.
- Sorry, who got murdered?
- Okay, “I would unplug your life support to charge my phone” is a good line.
- Which LA private school does Carr’s kid canonically go to?
- Crossroads?
- Wildwood?
- Sequoyah?
- Those are the three I know.
- First diva-on-diva slap of the season! Everybody drink!
- I want to throw myself an astrologically specific ball when I turn 40, like Elizabeth Taylor.
- How fab and lesbian of her!
- Ooh, love this little not-so-subtle reference to Kim’s real-life habit of, um, rewearing celebrities’ famous clothes.
- I love the notion of starting a media empire basically being charity work.
- “She knows how much my astrological identity means to me.” LOL.
- Same. (I’m a Cancer, BTW.)
- Hey, November 5th! That’s today!
- Chase looks a lot like Chase from House…if he proteinmaxxed.
- DORINDA!
- As an astrologer!
- Oh, I know there’s some Bravo-enthusiast sapphics in that writer’s room.
- Hey! That’s Peyton Dix!
- At Emerald’s table, no less!
- I love a mom who makes her boys clean up.
- Did Co-Star sponsor this episode, or what?
- Oh, to have 20 beautiful minutes in Emerald’s wig closet.
- “Either decolletage or legs out, not both” is honestly a good rule.
- Peyton’s slaying this role, if I may gas up an OOMF!
- Is Glenn going to get her damn groove back?
- I certainly hope so.
- Carr’s coat is important to me.
- I care so much less about the actual divorce case at hand in this episode (we get it! Rich woman screwed over by dick husband!) than I do the various hairstyles.
- Why is nobody on this show lezzing out?
- Didn’t they hear about the blue wave?
- OOP, SPOKE WAY TOO SOON!
- Sarah Paulson being homophobic…both ironic and iconique.
- Is nobody going to throw a drink on her?
- I desperately need a scorpion-shaped ice sculpture in my life. Maybe for my 35th birthday?
- Not too much on arch-support shoes, now.
- Some of us need them!
- Teyana 🙂
- Uh-oh, Allura down!
- Scorpion bite?!?
- Okay, bye!
