You may know the feeling: One event follows another. First, a work function; then a friend’s birthday party that, of course, you don’t want to miss. After all, you don’t want to disappoint anyone. But eventually, even the good things become too much, and your social battery simply runs out. Hamburg-based psychologist Alica Schellhorn explains to Vogue what happens when our social energy reserves are depleted—and why some situations leave us completely drained, while others, even those that are considerably busier, barely take any energy at all or may even give us a boost.
What Exactly Is a Social Battery?
We often hear people talk about having a low or empty social battery. But what does that actually mean? When we say our social battery is empty, we usually mean a combination of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion, Schellhorn explains.
Social interactions require sustained attention, after all: processing social cues, planning responses, and regulating emotions. “Particularly in complex or socially demanding situations, this can lead to an increased subjective sense of strain.” Over time, this can gradually deplete our energy reserves and, so to speak, drain our social battery.
How exhausting social interactions are varies from person to person. “Temperamental traits, such as emotional reactivity, sensitivity to stimuli, and differences in self-regulation, can influence how taxing social situations feel,” the psychologist explains. On average, introverted people find social stimulation less rewarding, while extroverted people are more likely to benefit from social contact.
According to Schellhorn, however, this does not mean that extroverts cannot experience social exhaustion. Other factors also come into play, including the effort required for self-regulation and adapting to others. “For people with social anxiety, heightened self-focused attention can place additional demands on their resources, for example.” People with ADHD or those on the autism spectrum may also experience a high degree of social adaptation, sometimes through a process known as masking or camouflaging.
Situational factors matter, too. A familiar, positive interaction may be far less draining than being in a large, noisy group of unfamiliar people. A lack of sleep and general stress can also reduce the resources available to us.
The Difference Between Feeling Exhausted and Having an Empty Social Battery
Feeling exhausted after a particularly demanding day is perfectly normal, Schellhorn says. To distinguish between ordinary exhaustion and an empty social battery, it is therefore less important to focus on a single symptom than to look at patterns over time.
