We make decisions constantly, from what to wear to the office and what to eat for lunch to whether to take public transport or call a cab. And while some decisions are harder to make than others, even the smallest ones can sometimes feel overwhelming.
I usually begin my week with a clear head. I know what I want to eat, what I need to meal prep, and which tasks I need to get through at work. But by Wednesday night, the going gets harder—and when my friends ask where we should go on a Friday, picking a place feels like a very tall order, despite it being something I’ve looked forward to all week.
It’s easy to assume that we are simply poor decision makers. But, as Archana Singhal, counselor, family therapist, and founder of Mindwell Counsel, explains, this may not be the case. “This is not a lack of decision-making skills. It can be that your brain just needs a break. Decision fatigue is the mental drain on your brain caused by having to constantly make decisions each day and juggle who gets your attention and when.”
So, what is decision fatigue, how can you recognize it, and what can you do to manage it? Experts weigh in.
What is decision fatigue?
“Decision fatigue is what happens when the mind has been making choices for too long and eventually just gets tired of choosing. And it isn’t necessarily the big decisions that exhaust us. It can be all the little decisions we make throughout the day and the amount of thinking that goes behind them,” says Shai C, a PhD in marriage and family therapy (MFT) and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
Think about the constant internal questioning that accompanies everyday choices: What should I do? Should I say yes or no? Am I making the right choice? What if I regret it? When these questions begin to feel exhausting, decision fatigue could be at play.
Shai also points to the pressure we put on ourselves to make the right choices. “I think the word ‘should’ itself can create a lot of distress. The moment we tell ourselves what we should be doing, a choice can start feeling like an expectation we have to live up to. It brings guilt, pressure, and sometimes the fear that if we make the wrong choice, something is wrong with us.”
When we are constantly making decisions while also carrying everyone else’s needs, it becomes easy to reach a point where we simply do not want to make another choice. Sometimes, the mind is not confused. It is just tired.
