There’s only one week to go until the series finale of The Summer I Turned Pretty, and I, for one, am ready to fight loyally and to the death in the Conrad Fisher Wars.
Do I actually want Belly with either Fisher brother? No! (Benito, the crush she met in Paris, is both hot and does not orginate from that cursed-ass family.) But given that I have, in fact, seen episodic television before, I’m pretty sure it’s all about the love triangle, and I have to lend my support to the side of said triangle that isn’t an overly tanned, useless frat boy.
Without further ado, find absolutely every thought I had about The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 3, Episode 10, below:
- Thanksgiving in Paris! Belly’s life rocks, all of a sudden.
- Babe, learn from my mistakes; do not try to cook an authentic Thanksgiving meal for French people because they don’t care.
- Wow, someone really needs the new AirPods that simultaneously translate into different languages, huh?
- Aw, honey, you’re not weak! But yes, you are kind of bad at French.
- I remember being so homesick during my semester abroad in Russia that I Google Earth-ed pictures of my mom’s house to make myself feel better, so I feel her.
- Zoom school in France? Zut alors!
- Expecting yourself to learn/change/become a new person during a stint abroad is such a fallacy. Just have a good time!
- I just rediscovered my own study-abroad blog, which I wish I could show to Belly to make her understand that it’s okay to be depressed in a different country.
- One could even argue it’s chic!
- Taylor and Steven are so cute 🙂
- Who are all these women who keep sleeping with Jeremiah?
- Love yourself, ladies! Stop expending sexual energy on that overly blond loser!
- Jere’s dad bringing him Champagne from The Wedding That Wasn’t is so rough, even for this mean-ass man.
- “Not everything is about money, Dad.” Spoken like a rich boy!
- I actually don’t disagree with the decision to cut him off, TBH.
- Denise letting Jeremiah stay with her is some crazy work.
- Does anyone ever say no to this kid (besides his dad)?
- Conrad’s hair is…not what I want it to be right now.
- I mean, depression grooming is real, but why are his bangs in his eyes?
- I find it hard to believe that today’s kids are getting all emo looking at Polaroids and not IG dumps, but whatever.
- Wow, Conrad’s idea of Belly’s Parisian life rocks.
- Do they have Sour Patch Kids in Paris? Why don’t I know this?
- Aw, I remember listening to Christmas music and getting all depressed about missing the American holiday season while I was abroad! Glad to know it’s a universal experience.
- I love the idea of a romance for Belly that involves neither Fisher boy.
- “What am I going to hold on to?” “Me?” Oh, it is so on.
- Steven yelling “Mom, I’m starving, when’s dinner?” is giving me a Pavlovian-response need to scream back “WHEN YOU START COOKING, BITCH!”
- Okay, can we abolish the concept of going back to work on January 2? Everyone’s still hungover from New Year’s!
- Connie really is such a saddo, I can’t help but love him.
- Someone should buy me a red Jeep like Jeremiah’s, IMO. I’m a much better person than him!
- Or a pink one, ideally.
- Cut the daddy-issues-influenced negative self-talk, Jere, there’s nothing wrong with cutting onions for a living!
- Then again, capitalism makes self-haters of us all.
- Jeremiah is literally only attractive to me in glasses and a hoodie, when he looks like a The Ultimatum: Queer Love cast member.
- “Fuck other people holding power over you.” Exactly, Denise!
- Loving this French remix of “Last Christmas.”
- Hey, Taylor’s in Paris!
- In a beret with zero regard for cliché, obviously.
- You know what, she’s pulling it off.
- Oh, I love Belly and Taylor’s sparkly going-out tops and dresses.
- This is what makes us girls!
- Ugh, Jere, why are you calling Belly? Leave that girl alone!
- I will not put up with this escargot slander! Yes, it sounds gross if you think about what it is, but it just tastes like butter!
- Benito or bust!
- Belly needs to release herself from shame and guilt, but luckily, she has Taylor there telling her exactly that.
- A bestie is a thing that can be so important.
- YES, Belly! Not only is your French improving, but you’re having sex with a non-Fisher!
- We absolutely love to see it.
- Best of luck calling a French super for emergency repairs, my sweet Bellissima.
- A yearlong psych program at the Sorbonne? And pronouncing “Sorbonne” correctly? Go off, girl!
- Love Laurel’s hands-off approach to her daughter’s Parisian defection. It does a girl good to roam.
- I wish I had somebody around to remind me to wash my bras.
- I love a Susannah flashback.
- I also love that even child-Belly was absolutely strung out over the Fisher boys.
- Time to switch it up now, though, queen!
- I need two brothers to be at absolute odds over me, stat.
- NOT CONRAD FLYING TO (OR NEAR) PARIS!
- And an emotionally significant haircut for Belly?
- This finale needs to be available for streaming yesterday.
