The magic word—or number, more accurately—is “13” this season on American Horror Story, which has brought back everyone from Jessica Lange to Emma Roberts (whom I’m going to need to see more of soon…) and Evan Peters for a kind of mega-anthology installment of everyone’s favorite scary gay show. Let’s dive in and review every thought I had about Season 13, Episode 3 of American Horror Story, shall we?
- A…puppet is here?
- To celebrate Witch Christmas, or whatever?
- Kind of a chic puppet, too!
- Is this a Lars and the Real Girl situation?
- Oop, JK, there’s a person under that puppet mask, and it’s…the Black Dahlia?
- A.K.A. Elizabeth Short?
- And the gimp-suit guy is back!
- Yay, all my close personal friends are here.
- I wish someone would yell “Get this girl some nourishment” about me.
- Holiday ham sounds great!
- God, Jamie Brewer is so great.
- As is her fun little scalloped neckline!
- The carving of this ham interspersed with the discovery of the Black Dahlia’s body officially has me no longer hungry.
- I love Evan Peters and Billie Lourd as Bad Siblings quarreling at the dinner table.
- A PO box in Larchmont…damn, the Black Dahlia was really an LA diva about town.
- “A few friends and family members stopped by on their way to their next event, it is not a party.” —me to my mom when I am absolutely throwing a party in her apartment
- To quote The Sopranos’ Silvio Dante, this is anti-Italian discrimination!
- I deeply never want Jessica Lange to call me “as ordinary as a tub of margarine.”
- Aw, the love between a gimp and his mother.
- Ahh! Fire!
- Everybody stop drinking things Jessica Lange offers you, now.
- “The hangover in my heart lingers far too long these days.” Huge mood.
- Men calling their moms “Mother” is so creepy, but I suppose that’s actually intended in this instance.
- “Club Hell”…so, any club in your 30s?
- Unless Sarah Paulson is there, of course.
- Well, that episode was short but admittedly sweet!
