I’ve been on and off the American Horror Story train many times over the years (like everyone else, I devoured Asylum and Coven and disembarked sometime after that), but I’m so here for the slightly sloppy yet extremely fun reunion of many of my favorite franchise characters that has comprised Season 13 so far. Do I totally get what’s going on yet? No. Did I love the second episode anyway? Absolutely.
Below, find (literally) every thought I had about Season 13, Episode 2 of American Horror Story.
- New York is so scary!
- Thank God nothing frightening has ever happened in my home city of LA.
- Ooh, German cookies.
- Or some sort of weird-sounding molasses cookie.
- Honestly, feed me tree sap and poison, Jessica Lange!
- Okay, I’ll try to start restraining my obvious lust for this 77-year-old woman.
- Sorry to sound ageist, but this old man is creeping me out.
- I suppose that’s the point, though.
- Come on, American Horror Story, don’t ruin baths for me like Rebecca Makkai ruined empty hotel pools with her excellent campus-murder novel!
- I can’t wait to see Billie Lourd!
- Not the Claude use to search all things related to the number 13…
- Or is this just good old-fashioned googling?
- Is this show coming for the LA clown community?
- Someone needs to.
- Tig Notaro!
- Clown class starting at a very strict designated time…likely thing to happen.
- Ahhh! Violent clown murder rampage!
- My coulrophobia is acting up.
- Let Jessica Lange make you a Sanka, you ingrate!
- A million girls would kill for that opportunity (and I’m one of them)!
- Let’s not talk about the San Andreas Fault, okay?
- Or the big one that Seattle is overdue for, for that matter.
- “A mother can only do so much.” Tea.
- Aw, this guy loved his super-annoying ex-girlfriend!
- Who…died in the plane crash in Episode 1?
- Okay, yes, just checked my facts and that’s correct.
- Hey, it’s Jamie Brewer, all grown up!
- Aw, bodega cat!
- She’s a star, I can tell.
- EVAN PETERS!
- With blue hair!
- How timely.
- There, at last, is our Billie!
