I look at every experience in my life, in a sick twisted way, as material. So if I was going to get my neck done, of course I was going to talk about it in a special. There’s power in transparency. If I talk about failed IVF or doing plastic surgery and somebody else can relate to it and it helps them with whatever they’re going through, then it has served a purpose. It’s not in vain. I just want folks to take an hour out of their day to sit back and giggle, even if that’s at my expense.
Maybe it’s that I’m a Southerner, so I’m an oversharer. But I’m always a guinea pig in my comedy. Why would I not share it all? I just feel that life is very funny. Of course I talk about things that I have been through. My comedy is deeply personal, and I always try to make fun of myself. Even if I’m talking about someone else or somebody else’s journey, I always try to make myself the butt of the joke. I think as a comic, you can’t toe the line. You have to either commit to the bit and go all in, or you’re not doing the joke service.
Being in this business, I have to have thick skin. But also, I can only guard myself from so much. I always say, there’s nothing somebody else can say about me that I haven’t already thought about myself. If you thought about the nastiest review you could leave, don’t worry: I’ve already had that conversation of self-doubt with myself backstage, staring into the mirror while I put on a strip of eyelashes before I go onstage.
Yes, it sucks that when I see a man comment on a standup clip or a photo or video of me, they almost always talk about physical appearance first. But at the same time, I also really enjoy the glamour of show business. I am a showman. I like to come out onstage in full glam, in a dress, high heels, boots. I like to play into it. Still, you’re always going to look at the comments, even if you promise yourself you won’t. And God—don’t ever go to YouTube. Those kids are brutal over there.
This isn’t a “woe is me” or a low self-confidence thing, but I do think it’s important to have an honest conversation about how we feel as women. We’ve all looked in the mirror and been like, “Okay, you fat bitch, you better get out there and do your job today.” And, yes, maybe I just have such a dark sense of humor that that’s actually how I talk to myself, but it is what it is. I’m motivated by negative reinforcement.
