As an extremely fair-weather sports fan who really only zeroes in on World Cup news when a WAG has done—or worn—something exciting, I’m not all that up on athletic friendships. Or, at least, I wasn’t until I learned that English footballer Jude Bellingham and Norwegian player Erling Haaland have a well-documented bromance going on. (Sorry, sorry, I know we all agreed to leave that particular phrase back in the age of watchable Judd Apatow movies, but…what else would you call it?)
Bellingham and Haaland’s friendship dates back to their time on the German club Borussia Dortmund, which they both played for between 2020 and 2022, and if there’s one thing I truly love in this world, it’s heterosexual men who aren’t afraid to express physical affection. To be clear, I don’t think they should be knighted for it or anything (I hug and cheek-kiss my girlies all the time! Where’s my medal?), but I adore it anyway.
Were Bellingham and Haaland borderline queerbaiting us with their Valentine’s Day video from four years ago, in which they read corny pickup lines like “I’m sorry to let you know that you are under arrest… for stealing my heart” to each other? I mean, no (again, straight men can be a little goofy with it! It’s not illegal!), but I’m just saying, there’s certainly a reason why the online-fanfic files are overflowing with Bellingham/Haaland content, and said reason might just be the admittedly platonic yet undeniably powerful chemistry that the two athletes share, whether they happen to be onscreen or on the field.
In a plotline that seems ripped straight from a piece of horny fan fiction, Bellingham and Haaland will meet as rivals on Saturday when England faces off against Norway in the World Cup, but honestly, I’m not worried about their bond. “I haven’t spoken to him. The last time I spoke to him was when I met him in Las Vegas, but I haven’t spoken to him since,” Haaland told TV 2 Sport of whether he’d touched base with Bellingham prior to Saturday’s match, adding: “He’s probably focused on himself, England, and everything that’s going on there.” I mean, fair! If I were going to try to defeat my best friend Jazmine at, like, Scrabble or competitive double-cleansing or one of our mutual areas of interest, I probably wouldn’t be hitting her up to chat immediately beforehand, you know?
I, personally, am not really sure if I’m rooting for England or Norway or if I’ll even watch their dust-up on Saturday (I have a baby shower and a birthday drinks to hit, I’m a busy and femme-coded girl!), but I’m still admiring Bellingham and Haaland’s bestie-ship, even if it’s the kind that occasionally sits on the back burner while they play. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from rewatching Friday Night Lights while I drink coffee and send emails, it’s that athletic competition can truly bring out the worst between players, but Bellingham and Haaland’s friendship is much-needed proof that it can also bring out the best.
