Photo: Maddy Rotman
Greitzer adds that it’s important for both members of the couple to be highlighted in the speech. “Great anecdotes showcase who each person was before meeting, their synergy together, and their individual and collective growth,” he says. If you don’t know one member of the happy couple very well and are unfamiliar with their love story, don’t be afraid to get creative. “One of the best speeches I’ve seen was from a bridesmaid who hadn’t really been able to spend too much time with her best friend’s fiancé because of the pandemic,” Greitzer shares. “She creatively read texts she found in her phone that gave her a hilarious timeline of her friend falling in love.”
If you’re still not sure where to begin, consider giving an AI platform a try to help you form your toast. “The Provenance tools guide speakers to create unique and personal ceremonies, vows, and toasts without the stress. It’s a partner in your brainstorming process; a way to help you verbalize what you were trying to say—but faster,” explains Greitzer. “Instead of being some outdated, mad-libs-style template, the expert-curated prompts inspire special stories and insights, ultimately weaving your responses together into a custom, editable first draft.”
A final writing tip from Shapira? “I definitely recommend creating an outline, but do not recommend writing the speech out word for word. When we script the entire speech, it sounds too formal,” says the public speaking expert. “I recommend first brainstorming the content, rearranging it into a logical structure, then drafting a general outline which you can bring with you to the event. While it may look better to simply give the speech ‘from the heart,’ the stress involved in trying to memorize your speech is simply not worth it.”
How Long Should a Wedding Speech Be?
The ideal length of a toast is between two to four minutes, which translates to around 500 to 1000 words on a page. Still, Greitzer notes, “The perfect length for the wedding toast complies with whatever length the couple wants it to be. Many guests don’t realize that long speeches can impact the whole evening’s timeline and affect the caterer, DJ, and so much more.” Best rule of thumb? Keep it short and sweet.
Can Multiple People Give One Speech Together?
Absolutely! Many married parents of a to-be-wed will go up together to give a toast as a unit to the guests. Occasionally, siblings or wedding party members will deliver one as a group as well. If you are doing a multi-person speech, it’s first important to clarify that the couple is comfortable with your group arrangement, especially as it will factor into the timing of the toasts. You’ll also need to button up when each person is speaking, what they will say, and how the flow of the toast will go. It’s best to rehearse a few times as a group in order to get your cadence down and be open to edits from each other. After all, what is said in the speech will reflect on you as a group.
How to Deliver a Wedding Speech
Writing a wedding speech is half the battle—next comes your performance. It’s important that your toast has a good flow, feels natural, and doesn’t drag on. Here’s where the idiom “practice makes perfect” rings true. Shapira advises giving yourself a few weeks of rehearsal to make your speech feel authentic and fluid. Her recommendations? “Read your speech out loud and make sure it stays within the time you have allotted. Read it to someone else and get their feedback. Record it and watch it back. We use a tool called AMPLIFY to get AI-based feedback.” She adds, “Don’t memorize the speech, but do read it out loud and make sure it sounds like your voice.”
