The Hosting Lesson: The first is generosity. There should always be a little too much. More food, more wine, another plate arriving from the kitchen… I love that feeling of abundance. But at the same time, Italian hospitality is never about making everything too perfect. The host should be enjoying the evening too. If everything feels overly arranged, people feel it.
The other thing is time. Nothing should feel rushed. Aperitivo is part of the evening, not something to get through before dinner. People arrive, you pour a drink, you talk, you nibble on something; perhaps someone else arrives half an hour later. Eventually, you move to the table. Dinner is never just the dinner. It is the whole evening.
The Go-To Aperitivo: I like something cold and bitter. A Campari soda, an Americano, a gin and tonic, or a beautiful bottle of Franciacorta. Then, lots of delicious little things that require almost no cooking. Very good olives, salted almonds, chunks of Parmigiano, anchovies with butter and toast, perhaps a few crostini.
The Failsafe Hostess Gift: Something that can be enjoyed—a wonderful bottle of wine or Champagne, preferably chilled and ready to open, beautiful olive oil, chocolates, or flowers from the market. I tend to prefer giving something edible or drinkable unless I know someone’s taste very well. One of the loveliest gifts I ever received was a huge bottle of homemade vanilla extract for cooking. I felt completely spoiled.
The Dinner Party Outfit: A simple spaghetti strap dress in navy or black is almost a uniform for me. There is something so chic about wrapped shoulders, so I frequently add a little shawl or cape. I have a fascination with the dancer Martha Graham and that feeling of movement—I think about dressing for hosting in the same way. I am constantly moving between the kitchen and the table; the clothes have to move with me.
The Tablescape Rule: Candlelight is my number one rule in the evening. Everything looks better by candlelight, and everyone feels better too. I like the table to be layered and I like a little drama, but never so much decoration that there is nowhere to put the food. I use all sorts of antique glasses, serving pieces, and candlesticks I have collected over time.
The Menu of the Moment: Good bread and very good olive oil, always. Then, something simple and seasonal. I love a sculptural arrangement of vegetables, a beautiful salad, perhaps a pasta, or something generous placed in the middle of the table for everyone to share. I like food that makes people reach across the table, pass plates around and help themselves. It immediately creates a different atmosphere.
The Tableware Shopping Stops: In Milan, I adore Laboratorio Paravicini for plates. I am always looking for antiques and old pieces wherever I travel, and I search eBay and Vinted for vintage Lalique glasses—especially the Art Deco ones. Borgo delle Tovaglie is wonderful for linens, and if I’m shopping online, I love Abask for anything beautiful for the table or the home.
